Vampire Book Club is currently hosting an Alpha Smackdown contest, in which Bones has been a stronger contender for the Alpha Throne. Fortunately for us, aside from getting to vote for our chosen Alpha, we get some bonus entertainment — Jeaniene and Ilona Andrew poking fun at each other. If Ilona’s Kate was up against Jeaniene’s Bones, this is what their exchange would look like:
Bones: I will beat you because am tough but inwardly vulnerable since I spent the last two hundred years whoring and killing to fill the emptiness inside.
Kate: I am tough but inwardly vulnerable, too! And I will kick your ass because I was born with a secret power that made me a loner, and don’t even get me started on my pent-up rage over my daddy issues.
Bones: Secret powers and daddy issues don’t scare me. You just described my wife.
Kate: Dude, I make spikes out of my blood. Also I have a magic sword that eats vampire flesh.
Bones: So do I, and it’s in my pants. Haven’t you heard about Chapter 32?
Kate: What’s Chapter 32?
Bones: Ask Curran to show you.
Kate: What does any of this have to do with us fighting to the death?
Bones: It means I can launch a sneak attack from the front OR back!
Kate: Oh, you want cheesy word play? Fine, I will defeat you with my overused phrases. Why me, dear God, slabbed with muscle, Your Furriness, aha.
Bones: Bollocks, bloody hell, luv, pet–
Kate: – You forgot Kitten.
Bones: –thrust deep, thrust deep, thrust deep –
Kate: More Chapter 32 again?
Bones: No, I have to do this in every book. Seems I shag as though I’m drilling for crude oil.
Wasn’t that entertaining? Yes? If you liked that, maybe you could vote for Bones in the current showdown? It’s been a tough race against Jace from Cassandra Clare’s [amazon_link id=”1416955070″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Immortal Instruments series[/amazon_link]! Show your love for Bones, by voting for him as alpha, here!